My dear Aproko people of the AprokoNation, it’s been a while since I stepped in here, e nor easy. Anyway, I will be here for sometime to whine down my leave days. So, welcome to the first edition of “The Coastal Highway Chronicles,” your definitive, no-holds-barred (well, as much as possible in these parts) look into Nigeria’s latest architectural wonder: the Lagos-Calabar Coastal Highway.
This isn’t just a road; it’s a testament to innovation, transparency, and a profound commitment to, shall we say, fluid planning.
First, let’s marvel at the sheer ambition. A 700-kilometer stretch, hugging the picturesque Nigerian coastline from Lagos all the way to Calabar, traversing nine glorious states. We’re told it will slash travel times, boost trade, create jobs, and generally propel Nigeria into an era of unprecedented prosperity. All by the year 2031, which, if my calendar serves me right, is still a few budgets away.
Now, for the minor details. This modern marvel comes with a rather modern price tag: an estimated ₦4 billion (that’s right, billion) per kilometer. Do the math, Aproko people, we’re looking at a cool ₦14 to ₦15.6 trillion, or roughly $11 to $12.5 billion. A bargain, really, when you consider the priceless joy of bypassing traffic and watching the ocean waves while stuck in… well, eventually, we hope, no traffic. The funding model, we are reliably informed, is EPC+F, meaning the contractor, Hi-tech Construction Africa Limited, shoulders most of the financial risk. Isn’t that just dandy? Except, of course, the government is also chipping in a not-so-insignificant 30% as counterpart funding. Because, why let the contractor have all the fun (and risk)?
But let’s fast forward to the main event, the moment that truly captured the nation’s imagination: the grand commissioning of Section 1 on May 26, 2025. Yes, you read that right, May 26, 2025. And what a section it was! A magnificent 30-kilometer stretch, starting from Ahmadu Bello Way. A veritable sprint towards progress!
Now, some uncharitable naysayers, perhaps lacking in foresight or simply too literal, pointed out that 30 kilometers out of a promised 700 kilometers works out to… a staggering 4.3% completion. “Barely five percent!” they cried, their voices undoubtedly muffled by the cheers of progress. And then, the ultimate punchline: this magnificent 30km commissioned stretch was reportedly closed just 10 days later because, apparently, construction was still ongoing. Who knew commissioning an incomplete project was the new frontier in infrastructure development? Truly a masterclass in efficiency and public relations!
One might ask, “Why the rush to commission a road that’s barely out of its infancy, and then promptly close it?” Ah, my people, that’s where the art of governance meets the science of political optics. Why wait for actual completion when you can have a photo opportunity that screams “progress!” now? It’s genius, really. A sneak peek, if you will, into the future of Nigerian roads. Just don’t plan your journey to the next Calabar festival along that stretch just yet.
In our next edition, we’ll go deeper into the fascinating world of land acquisition, the curious case of the disappearing businesses, and how some very important people are navigating these… minor bumps in the road. Stay tuned, because the chronicles are just beginning!
